Lesson 11 from Our 11th Year of Marriage

My not-so-little sister got married this past weekend and as part of their celebration, they did a generations dance. All the married couples danced to "Remember When." People with smooth skin and wrinkled, smiled at each and swayed to music. Slowly couples married less years sat down until one couple was left standing — a marriage 67 years in the making, my grandparents.


This was a miracle in itself because two months ago, my grandpa was on his deathbed. I'm so thankful that God granted Him more mercy to celerbate two granddaughter weddings this summer.

When I asked my Grandma today, the highlight of the wedding, her eyes welled up with tears and she said, "Dancing with your Grandpa." Oh my heart. 

Can you imagine being married for 67 years in a culture where a marriage lasting more than 67 weeks is a rarity? Can we not simply hang in there for 67 years, but also enjoy the ride? That's our plan.

Last year to mark our 10 year anniversary, I wrote 10 Lessons from 10 Years of Marriage. Last Saturday, my husband and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary and I've been mulling over what I've learned in our past year of marriage. If you stop learning, you stop growing.

So, here I humbly offer my lesson 11, from an 11 year + one week old marriage. (Read the first 10 here!)

11. It is a great honour to be my husband's helper.

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I didn't used to think so, probably because our cultural connotation carries the idea of being subservient. Webster's definition would make any wife cringe: one that helps; especially a relatively unskilled worker who assists a skilled worker. No thanks.

If God is described throughout Scripture as our helper, can this kind of helper really be subservient and relatively unskilled? Obviously not. 

A helper is not inferior; a helper is indispensable.

What if your husband cannot and will not become the man God intended without your help? 

Without your respect?

Without your prayers?

Without your trust?

Without your confidence in him?

Without your encouragement?

Without your understanding?

Without your smile?

Without your kindness?

Without your desiring him? 

Without you being a safe haven to explore what he carries in his heart?

Without your tenderness? 

Without your willingness?

Without your patience?

Without your compassion?

Without your understanding him when he doesn't understand himself?

What if God has chosen to use your help to help your husband become the man He intended? Then as wives, I'd say we have the mighty high calling and great honour to be our husband's indispensable helper. 

What lesson have you been learning in your marriage this year?  

Read the first 10 here!