There are a few things in my life that have brought me to my knees in a particularly desperate way: my dad’s fatal diagnosis and battle with ALS, marriage and most recently, parenting toddlers.

Particularly the one that is a mini version of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love her to pieces. She is incredibly bright, thoughtful, caring, spunky and kind. She also has an iron-clad stubborn, strong will that drives me to levels of crazy. We are currently working on the concept of cooperation (making it easy for mommy to do her job) which she is great at when

There is a road we frequently travel on. It's the more direct way and less busy road into the city. It takes us to the ring road which is almost always guaranteed to be free of stop and go traffic. The drive offers a nice mountain view, sunsets at the right time of day and beautiful golden fields of canola at certain times of the year.

 I can't believe it's been 6 years since I last saw you. In some ways it feels like forever and other times, just like yesterday.

 On the long weekend, we went camping. (Even Christina! 😊) Grandpa Jim was playing with the kids at the beach and Ang commented, that's exactly what dad would be doing if he were here. Grandpapa took the older kids biking and fishing and we know you'd of been right in on the action. Even Uncle Lope came. One afternoon, he was napping in our trailer, arms up, feet crossed, when Mike came out and said jokingly, if anyone wants to see your dad sleeping he's in there! You would've loved it. Everyone was there and together. Though we probably would've made you sleep in your car. After all, who can sleep with all that snoring?

It's almost the 5th Father's Day we've had to celebrate without you.  I'm so thankful that you are no longer in pain or suffering but do I ever still wish on a daily basis that you were around. Since I can't tell you that, it somehow feels a bit therapeutic to just put my thoughts out there.... somewhere. I don't know... maybe God gives little windows...?  

I recently finished reading a book that made me increasingly uncomfortable with every page I turned. I highly recommend it. Seriously.