God, if you're real... (Part 1 of 3– February 5, 1986)

As he crossed the bridge that connected Vancouver and Richmond, Jesse couldn’t shake the feeling that he should not just head home. But what was the point? The pastor hadn’t been there all day. Surely he wouldn’t be there now. I wonder what’s for dinner? He allowed his mind to wander as he continued south on No. 4 Road. The drive felt longer today. Like it was passing in slow motion. Were there more red lights than usual? 

The light turned green and he continued in the direction of home, still trying to shake the feeling. Of course he should just go home. Kathy was expecting him. The twins would be waiting at the window to play like they did every day. He looked forward to cuddling his 4 month old baby. Why was his heart beating faster? Why did the weight on his shoulders feel heavier? He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and shifted in his seat as he realized the next street was Albion. The church was just around the corner. Maybe there was still a chance. 

“Uh... God?” 

His own words surprised him. What was he doing? He didn’t know how to pray. The only prayers he’d prayed before were ones he had memorized as a child. Something compelled him to continue on anyway. 

“I don’t think you know me but you know my wife Kathy. I have a problem... I’ve been trying to call the pastor all day so I can become a Christian but he’s not answering. If you’re real, put him in the church. I’m turning left on Albion right now. Sincerely, Jesse.” 

Jesse hesitated, unsure if that even counted as a prayer but found himself making a left on Albion. This was it. A moment of truth. 

In less than 2 minutes he would know if the God his wife knew so well would work for him too.

He remembered the pastor saying one Sunday something about faith and how you only needed a tiny bit. What was it again? A mustard seed. He wasn’t entirely sure how small it was, but hoped that whatever he had was at least that much.

CLICK HERE to keep reading part 2, “What are you doing here?”

***an excerpt from an upcoming book on the life and legacy of Jesse Morales***