Getting off the crazy train of COMPARISON (Part 1 of 4)
I took my seat and couldn’t help but notice her.
She looked poised and polished. All the things I felt like I wasn’t. And a quick but slightly obsessive google on my part later that night confirmed she was also more of a professional in my desired field, her established one.
I had just come from leading a breakout session at the pre-conference to this main event. I came humbled, excited and anticipating what God might do, yet fighting the feeling that I wasn’t a “real” speaker which might leave people wondering why in the world I was invited to the table.
Despite the fact that many had been encouraging and affirming of how God had used me that weekend, there I was— on the crazy train of comparing myself to a woman I hadn’t even met.
As crushing and crazy as this is, it’s not uncommon.
No matter what age or stage of life you find yourself at, I’d be willing to be that you have a her— at least one (or more) you hold yourself against to see how you measure up.
In You Are The Girl For The Job, Jess Connolly writes,
“Where in your life do you feel a constant or frequent desire to look to the left or the right and compare yourself to others? Maybe you’d never admit you’re trying to be the best, but quietly you’re spinning your wheels. You might never dream of saying it outloud to another human, but you’re silently exploring where you rank at (fill in the blank).”
Spoiler Alert: Once you're off the crazy train, there's a beautiful community of women God may call you to celebrate, champion and encourage as you all run your own races, in your own lanes, all for His glory and the good of others. Stay tuned!
Where are you trying to rank?
The race to be the best woman, wife, listener, leader, friend, Christian, mom or servant? The most faithful, humble, authentic, youthful, hospitable, encouraging, studious, creative, energetic, successful, spontaneous, positive, quiet, or empathetic? The fittest, wisest, holiest, cleanest, cutest or healthiest?
This thief called comparison doesn’t announce its plans to steal our joy, peace and confidence, only whispers that we should at least explore where we rank. We’ve taken the bait enough times to know how it leaves us feeling, so why do we do this to ourselves?
What exactly do we think comparison will accomplish for us?
In moments of insecurity, insignificance and insufficiency, we’ve bought into the lie that these needs can be achieved. And if we believe they can be achieved, then we also find ourselves believing that maybe we are all running one race and there’s only one prize. So we compare. And it leaves us grasping.
But is it true? Paul urges us in Philippians 4:8 to “think about what is true,” and similarly in Ephesians 6:14, “to stand firm with truth like a buckle around our waist.” This is our standard.
Is it true we are all running the same race, competing for the same prize?
Or is there a small gate and a narrow road that leads to life not choked by comparison? Is there a way off this crazy train?
Pray this with me:
Father, you created me and you are the ultimate creative. Soften the soil of my heart by showing me when I’m comparing myself or my life. Begin to show me why. Prepare my heart to receive what is true and how to confidently walk in the calling you’ve given me rather than constantly competing for what you’ve already given me in Christ.
Next week, we’ll look at what God has to say about this competition and comparison we so often find ourselves in, and what He calls us to instead.